Shopping and Product Reviews – Scoop Central

Giftbaskets are soooo last year!  Or is it last decade?  Actually, I hope the correct response is neither.  (Lock it in; that’s my final answer.)  You see, I make my living by selling gift baskets (among other food gifts).  Granted, it may be less significant that solving the global warming problem or removing a pesky mouse from under your kitchen cabinet, but it’s an honest way to pay for the roof over my family’s head.

I can read your mind: “I’ll bet he never has a problem deciding what to give during the holidays; year in and year out everybody on his list gets stuck with another gift basket.”  How dare you think about me in that way!  In fact, I face the same dilemmas that you face during any gift giving, decision making crisis.

I do not give food filled bundles of joy to my entire gift list.  (Well, maybe most it.)  Even if I did just give gift baskets to everyone, my choice would be only marginally easier than yours.  My company alone offers scores of fruit baskets, wine gift baskets, gourmet food options and far more.  (I can hear you right now, begging me to tell you where this wonderful store is.  Please be patient.)

Before you coerce me into giving away my store location, I want to share my own decision making strategy with you.

First, I decide on an appropriate category of gift.  If Uncle Milton really has managed to eliminate his drinking problem after a decade of trying, then the wine gift baskets are out of the running.  Instead, I’ll opt for a fruit basket with something seasonal.  After years of ignoring the nutritional value of what he consumed, he could use a few extra servings of fruit in solid form.

Dear, dear Aunt Mildred is a great wine talker.  I don’t think she truly enjoys sipping her wine, but she loves to try to impress everyone with what she knows about it.  She thrills to have a new member of her audience so that she can explain what makes a good vintage year, the varieties of grapes that are used in her favorite blends and, especially, how much she paid for each bottle (as well as how much she paid for the carpeting you just ruined by spilling your glass).  I’ll give her one of my better wine gift baskets, but I refuse to give her the best stuff.  Sure, I get it wholesale, but I still have to pay for it!  (I’m also not going to pay for the carpet cleaning; not after what that cat of hers did to my new coat.)

Everyone in our family, except me, says that my nephew Alfred finally made his girlfriend an honest woman.  I, on the other hand, never doubted his girlfriend’s honesty, but I have some reasons to suspect Alfred.  In any case, they finally got married.  To tell you the truth, even I agree that it’s about time.  Alfred spent the last eight years trying to decide if she was worth the cost of a diamond ring.  (I suspect that he eventually settled on crystal, which, considering Alfred, would be thought of as generous.)  Alfred always loves to receive cash as a gift.  Well, he’s not getting that from me.  Instead, they’re getting a meal of live lobsters and the trimmings from me.  Actually two, of course.  I figure it’s the only way to get that cheap guy’s new bride out of the kitchen for an evening.  (They honeymooned by visiting me!)

My second step, after choosing a category is to select a price range that I’m willing to spend on these people.  Then my wife makes me double that amount.

My grandson is getting the latest video game system.  Let’s face it; he is truly special.